All I Want Is You
by TR-Fanfic
Summary: Set during "Always" Castle and Beckett find themselves together in the pouring rain.
1. Chapter 1

This is making believe that Kate wasn't sitting on the swings in "Always" while the graduation was going on, but that Castle was free to roam around in his own fog of thoughts at that time. His thoughts lead him to that swing set.

I don't own Castle, but if I did I would have way more money and a flexible schedule.

All I Want is You

By TR

He wasn't surprised to see her there. Not really. Not when the visage of her followed him wherever he went. Not when the pull of her had always guided his steps forever in her direction, even when he tried to run the other way. She looked like Hell. The most beautiful Hell he'd ever seen. Soaked and exhausted and troubled and so completely alone. A solitary figure surrounded by a row of empty swings, in the gray blue mist of torrential rain. It seemed somehow fitting. That was always how she wanted it. To be the solitary figure. To be the strong one, even if she was alone in her principles, or rather her obsessions.

She had callously and so bravely risked her life once more to avenge the most important person to her. Her mother even in death, continued to be the driving force behind every significant decision Kate ever made. His heart squeezed as he remembered the last decision he'd ever seen her make. The decision to die for her cause, and in doing so to shove him out of her life. The decision to take his love for her and push it aside to pursue the very thing which once had threatened to ruin her.

He remembered the conversation like it was yesterday, telling him not to look into it, not to touch the poison, that addictive vice that was her mother's murder. One touch, one taste and she would be right back where she had been. He wondered what level of blame fell to him for giving her that taste. Tears threatened suddenly and unexpectedly at the thought that her life would soon end in violence because he had thrown her back into that case. She'd warned him what would happen. Could he blame her for drowning when he'd thrown her in the deep end? He willed backed the tears and refused to take all the blame, even in his own mind. Hadn't he done everything he could to protect her for as long as possible? Yes, he'd thrown her in the deep end, but hadn't he done his best to fish her back out again? Hadn't he done his best to be the one she could always count on, the one who had her back? Always…he heard his voice telling her this over and over that he would always be there, that he loved her. Whether she believed him or not, whether she was angry or not, whether she had hurt him or not, how could he walk away when he promised he would always be there? He loved her, and love meant staying. Love meant standing between her and a bullet if he had to.

Love was what drove her to do everything possible to bring her mother's killers to justice. His back straightened, he could take a lesson from her, he decided. A lesson about what it was to love someone enough to see it through to the very end. His steps slowed as he approached the swing set, he looked down to where she sat and wiped the water away from his eyes.

"I know I hurt you Castle." She didn't have to look up to know he was there. Her voice was raw and low. "I know why you kept it all from me. Now more than ever I understand."

She took a deep shaky breath. "You've just got to understand…" her voice broke as tears threatened. "You've got to understand that this thing with my mother…I can't have her anymore Castle. A man took a knife and took my mother away from me. I don't get to have her because he chose to kill her for money. For money! If she had died of a disease, in a car accident, in a plane…it would have been so much easier to swallow. But this, I don't know how to get over this. It's like a song incessantly playing in my head and if I can just get to the end of it, I can have some peace!"

The tear flowed freely now, as the truth emerged unfettered.

"I do understand. But you have to understand something Kate…you killed that man. I know you wanted more information out of him. I know he left you with more questions, but put that aside for a second. You had the man who murdered your mother standing in front of you, and you gave him what he gave her. You killed the man who killed your mother! Can you let the story end there? I would. I would let it end there. No matter who put him up to it, he made the decision to strike her down, and you did the same to him. He… that arrogant bastard, we took him down! I smashed his face in and you killed him. That's poetic justice. That's a perfect ending. Can't we leave it there?"

She let out a slow sigh. "I wish I could have left it there." This time she did look up at him, and he saw pain. He frowned as red flags rose in his mind. "I didn't leave it there. Javi and I, we went after him."

His eyes widened, as he moved to sit next to her ignoring the cold puddle that soaked through his pants. "What happened?"

"He got away. And I didn't care. I almost died and all I could think about was you."

"Kate…I…" He didn't get any further as she launched herself toward him, wrapping her arms around his neck, she landed in his lap. He planted his feet to keep them steady.

"I'm so sorry Castle," She whispered in his ear. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to push you away. You DO mean something to me. More than this case. You'd think I'd find that hard to say, but I don't. It's not hard to say, because it's true." She pulled back, lifted his chin with tip of her finger, his eyes met hers. "You are the only thing that I have ever put above her."

She leaned in, ever so tentatively, and touched her lips to his. His mouth was warm despite the cold and rain. He kissed her softly, then threading his hands through her hair he drew her close. He wanted to take his time savoring the moment, but she had other plans. Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck and pulled him in. Her tongue begged entrance and then delved deep stroking and tangling with his until he felt his temperature rise. Her hands moved down, over his chest where his nipples stood out from the cold and attention, around his back inside his jacket. His skin tingled with anticipation, even as he worked her jacket open and settled his large hands around her waist. When she cried out, he pulled back.

"Kate?" He struggled to find his breath. "What…? Are you hurt?"

When she looked away and shrugged he knew the answer. "Come on." It wasn't a request. He helped her to her feet and then stood.

"Castle I'm fine. Just have some battle scars."

"How bad? And don't play the hero. How bad is it?"

She sighed, and winced as the pain was waking up in a foul mood. "I probably have a few cracked ribs."

The color drained from his face. He'd left her to go it on her own, and a man had beaten her, tried to kill her. He remembered what it was like to hold her body as her life hung by a thread, and by God he never wanted to see that again. He knew then why it was so hard for her to let go of the case. If something like that had happened to her, he would never stop.

"I'm so sorry!" Pain and regret warred on his face. "I'm so sorry you went through all of that and I wasn't there for you." His jaw clenched. "That won't happen again."

"I didn't leave you a lot of choice in the matter." She took his hand and waited for him to look at her. "It's okay."

He gave her a grateful nod. "I know you hate hospitals, so I'll call my doctor to meet us at my place."

She wanted to protest, but she knew better, and besides she was feeling it from her head to her feet.

**Two Hours Later**

She stood in his bathroom as he wound the bandage around her ribs. They were indeed cracked. No other broken bones, but more bruises than could be counted and that included her pride. The boldness of her declaration had faded in the reality of her injuries and her vulnerability was back in full force. She didn't mind that she was standing in her bra and panties, she'd hoped, if he would have forgiven her, to be wearing even less than that by the end of the night, but she knew there was little hope of an all nighter love fest with this eye popping ace bandage number wrapped around the entire middle of her body. Part of her was thankful, in this condition there's no way she could bring him her A game.

"There, that should do it. How does it feel?"

"Like overkill," she deadpanned.

He pinned her with a look and then lifted his watch. "We should get some rest, we can talk more in the morning." He paused, and rubbing his hand on the back of his neck, looked away almost shyly. "Do you want me to make up the guest room for you?"

She took a step closer. "Do you want me to sleep in the guest room?"

He smiled with his eyes, and shook his head.

She grinned. "Me either."

He leaned down, and cupping her head in his hands kissed her forehead. Then her cheek. Then her chin. Then the bridge of her nose. Then her eyelids. Ever so softly he worshipped her face with his lips. Then finally let his mouth sink down over hers in a toe curling kiss designed to hold them both over. Saying nothing he took her hand and led her to the bed. Carefully she draped across his chest, and his hand came up to stroke her hair. She let out a sigh, and let the exhaustion take over. She had finally let go.

End of scene…Good? Bad? Dyspepsia? Let me know.


	2. Chapter 2 Give me some Lovin'

All I want is you

Chapter 2 – Give me some lovin'

She woke to kisses, feather soft on her skin. Eyelids rising slowly, tentatively, against the glow of the morning sun through the window, the first thing she saw was the top of his head as he brushed his lips over each and every bruise within view. He smiled when he saw her watching him.

"Hi."

"Hey," she replied. "Have you been up long?"

"Not too long. But long enough to make this for you." He pointed to a steaming cup of hot coffee on the night stand next to her. "Here, let me help you." Slowly he eased her into a sitting position. "How are you feeling?"

She snorted. "Like I've been ridden hard and put away wet."

"Wouldn't that be nice!" He said, earning a smack on the arm. She couldn't help but laugh. He picked up the mug and handed it to her, then grabbed the pain killers as well. The laughter left his eyes. "You were moaning in your sleep, this will help."

She wasn't usually one to take medicine unless she absolutely had to, but she knew that the second and third days were always the worst after an injury. And she had injuries in spades. She took the pills and downed them in one swallow.

"I was moaning? Maybe I was just…dreaming." She looked up at him under her lashes, wiggled her eyebrows. With her sexy disheveled hair and creamy skin glowing in the light of the window, she was a vision. A vision wrapped in an ace bandage. When she set her coffee down and began to remove that ace bandage he imagined it was dark red silk ribbon that revealed a gift just for him in every inch of skin it uncovered. Christmas bells began playing in his head. He had to take a breath to stay steady as every drop of blood in his body landed in his lap.

His expression brought on a burst of laughter. "Geez Castle, I'm all banged up. You really are easy!"

"Hey I played hard to get for four years!"

"Yeah right, I could have had you at any time."

He tried to keep it light, but just couldn't. He took a moment, then had to ask. "Why didn't you?"

His tone of voice had her looking up, she could have still tried to play it funny but she could see the sincere question in his eyes.

She sighed and gathered the bandage to set it on the night stand, for the moment the purple bruises around her ribs went unnoticed. She turned to face him. Took a long slow breath. "Castle…everything happens in its own time, and its own way. I just wasn't ready. I know, I could have slept with you and you wouldn't have turned me down, but that would have just created one more bump in the road, one more complication that we just didn't need. So much has happened. Would you have been ready for this four years ago?"

"No," he admitted in a low voice. "Not four years ago. But…a year ago, two years…yes I would have been. I was ready."

"And I was recovering. I heard what you said when I was shot, and I did remember it later, but I didn't know if it was real."

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I was dying Castle, how was I to know I wasn't hallucinating? If I wasn't hallucinating, how was I to know that you weren't just panicked and trying to get me to hold on? If you weren't just panicked, how was I to know that you meant it?" She shook her head, looked past him to a spot over his shoulder as she tried to collect her thoughts. "You told me once that you don't say "I love you". How was I to know that this time it was different?"

He reached over and slowly took her hand. "This time is different Kate." He held her eyes until he could see the truth settle in.

She nodded. "I know it is." Her eyes lit with pure unadulterated affection. She didn't say it back. Not yet. But she gave him what she could. "I didn't sleep with you, because with you it could never have been just sex." She reached out and stroked back an unruly lock of hair from his forehead. Let her hand trail down and touch his cheek. Her thumb traced that all too sexy scruff she found there. Her heart quickened. He sat before her, taking care of her, loving her, in nothing but his Scooby Doo boxers, and a hopeful expression. Damn those bruises, she wanted him. She wanted him deep! "NO," she said breathlessly. "No it would never be just sex. Not with you. With you I…" It was too much, she had to do something even if she couldn't do all. She rose to her knees and leaned in, "trust me" she whispered against his mouth a moment before her tongue slipped in and claimed him. He groaned, giving as good as he got. He wanted so much to touch her. She was there in his bed, in his life, kissing him. He pulled back, afraid to hurt her. He'd already plotted the brutal beating of the man who'd tried to kill her ten different ways in his mind, but this eleventh way was doubly brutal if for nothing but stopping him from touching this extraordinary woman.

"No, don't pull away, I can…it's okay Castle, I can handle it. Please, let me touch you." Her voice was a low, sexy, pleading, breathless whisper. He couldn't and wouldn't refuse her. She moved in and kissed him once more, then braced her hands on his shoulders and laid him down slow and easy on the bed. She relaxed against him, matched their bodies limb to limb, laced her fingers through his, and took control.

End of 2nd Scene. Good? Bad? Horse apples? Let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

THIS PART HAS AN M RATING! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!

I apologize for the flaws. My beta reader needs me to pick her up at the airport right now.

All I want is you part 3

Her moves were slow, deliberate. Slower than usual, but maybe that made it better. They'd waited for this for years, maybe rushing through it would lessen the punch. Even still she felt the limitations of her injuries. Castle, for his part, didn't seem to have any complaints. She hoped he wasn't just being polite. She leaned in and kissed him once more, soft and slow and deep, while her hands dropped low, fingers moving just inside the waist band of his boxers. His breath hitched, as he fought the instinctive urge to tuck her underneath him and take control.

Panic rose momentarily as he realized that all the moves he'd dreamt of making the first time he touched her, every time he thought about touching her, were out. He couldn't do any of them for fear of hurting her. His play book had to be rewritten as he went along. He knew for both of them, this wasn't how they'd pictured their first coupling. It wasn't a hot and fast and fierce breaking of resolve. But maybe it was better. Maybe it was more honest, more real, more…them. Maybe they could actually make love. The hot and fast and sweaty could wait.

"Castle." Her voice broke through, and he opened eyes he didn't realize had fallen closed. She frowned, losing the moment as she watched him. "Everything okay?"

He gave her a smile, and a very sincere, "Never better!"

"Where were you?"

His finger traced the line of her perfect jaw. "I was rewriting my play book," he said with a bewildered laugh. "I've never done this with someone who has cracked ribs."

"Well I've never done this with someone who is wearing Scooby Doo shorts, does that make us even?"

They ended their laughter with a kiss, and another kiss, and another until groans and breathless pleas were all that filled the air.

She sat up with effort and reached back to remove her bra. "Touch me," she whispered. "God…please!" She dropped her head back in ecstasy as his hands moved over her, fingers lingering over her sensitive nipples, palms squeezing her soft and firm flesh. They began to tremble together as she sat back and removed his boxers. Holy Hell he was impressive. Her mouth watered, her center ached, her mind reeled at the possibilities. What to do first? What *could* she do given her limitations? She leaned forward brushing her lips over his chest, flicking her tongue over each of his nipples before she moved on. Deliberately she kissed and licked and bit a slow path downward. His breath came in fast shallow bursts as she reached her destination. As her tongue rippled, lips sealed over his skin, he knew he couldn't wait another minute. He reached down, ran a hand through her hair.

"Kate," He said breathlessly. "Come here."

Her heart nearly stopped at the sound of his voice. Like warm, loved filled chocolate. Without hesitation she moved into his arms and melted against him as his hand rested ever so gently on her cheek. The kiss he gave her was nothing but desire and passion and love. He turned them both to rest on their sides, her uninjured side against the bed. He kissed her mouth, trailing his lips down the line of her jaw, below her ear where he swirled his tongue against a sensitive spot, drawing a gasp. He moved to her neck, then ran the edge of his teeth over her collar bone, working his way down until his mouth closed over her breast. She cried out, begged for more. He lingered there until they just couldn't take it anymore. He moved up, held her close against him, and carefully stroked her skin from her shoulder down over the perfect curve of her ass. Slowly he pulled her leg up and over his hips. Her eyes locked with his, knowing what came next. He kissed her softly, and whispered "I love you." An instant before he pushed in and buried himself to the hilt. For a long breathless moment they stayed frozen in time, clinging to each other lest they fly into a thousand pieces. Then Kate began to move her hips just slightly, and groaning together their eyes fell shut as he drove them to a slow, intense, steady finish.

End of Scene. Good? Bad? Cracked ribs? Let me know.


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